A Cautionary tale of a Bidet, two toilets and 12 stitches.

So, it all began a couple of months ago.  My youngest son has a bidet on his toilet and I mentioned to him that I thought I might like one.  He said "they aren't expensive (true) and take 20 minuted to install" 

Right.

So I ordered one and Amazon helpfully delivered it.  Last week I decided the time had come to install it.  Three trips to various stores and I had sat the required materials here.  I read the installation manual, then fiddled with the parts.  No problem. Until I tried to attach it to the existing toilet (which was original to the house.) for a couple of days I worked on and off at removing the Nut to attach the water supply line.  It finally came off but in the process broke the flushing mechanism.  I happen to have one of those (don't ask) but to change it you have to remove the tank from the bowl in order to attach a gasket on the bottom.  After 30 years every bolt/screw, washer and nut was corroded so for two days I tried to get a the nuts loose to do that.  I simply didn't have enough muscle and in the meantime I broke the top.

Sometime, this past Wednesday night I decided that rather than continuing to attempt the impossible (cause that's what it seemed to me) I would just buy a new toilet. So, the next day after my chiropractor visit I trotted off to Lowes and acquired a new one.  Got back home took the old toilet out on a furniture dolly.  It fell off the dolly going down the outside stairs and broke a chunk off, I got it back on and rolled it over by the trash,  Then, knowing that I would not be able to carry the whole box the new toilet was it I opened it up and took the pieces out-carefully.  Set them up on the front porch and went back for the furniture dolly.

Disaster struck when I attempted to lift the old one off and it slipped (due to mist) and sliced into my right hand at the base of my thumb. Started bleeding furiously in seconds, slapped my left hand over it and ran for the house.  Washed it off put a dish towel over the gash and pressed down hard for 5 minutes.  (It's only supposed to take 3 to stop bleeding but I waited a couple of extras minutes.)  When I took the towel of to see the damage it only took one look to know that I needed stitches!  The next stop was the Emergency Room where it took a couple of hours to have 12 stitches in the wound.  Fortunately, it wasn't as deep as I first thought so there wasn't any damage to tendon or muscle.  Needless to say I was not installing a new toilet or a bidet that day!  

But Scott, that same youngest was coming to stay overnight and  saved the day  by installing both the toilet and the bidet.  He even said he knew I was capable of doing it - very straightforward- but stitches and swelling prevented it.

I have a lovely new toilet and a bidet and in two weeks the stitches come out, until then I'm not going to be doing much of anything as my right hand is my dominate hand and my left hand is barely capable of feeding me!  Should be boring. Maybe I can catch up on reading blogs.